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Woman bakes expletive-laden pies to ‘get a rise’ out of her grandmother in annual tradition

“What started as a means to get a rise out of my Grammy has snowballed into a weird family tradition,” wrote Jess Lydon.
curse pie
Sweet pies, sour language.TODAY Illustration / Getty Images

A naughty annual tradition is garnering a nice bit of laughter on the internet.

On Nov. 24, Oregon-based woman Jess Lydon posted a photo gallery in the subreddit r/Baking that illustrates a unique annual family tradition: expletive-topped pies.

“What started as a means to get a rise out of my Grammy has snowballed into a weird family tradition. I bake one pie a year,” Lydon wrote in the post, adding that the first image in the set is 2023’s pie. The rosette-filled apple pie has the word “D---wad,” masterfully constructed out of pie dough, emblazoned across it.

Editor’s note: The below images contain obscene language.

“D---wad: My favorite name to call people when I’m angry and stuck in traffic,” wrote Lydon. In the slideshow, a total of 12 different pies are shown, all adorned with obscene language — from “F---wit” and “Penis” to “B----” and “F--- Off.”

“Asshat: My second favorite name to call people when I’m angry and stuck in traffic,” Lydon wrote about 2016’s pie. In other notes, she explains how her pie-making abilities have developed over the years, adding that using an X-acto knife instead of a chopstick to cut out letters was a “game changer” in 2018.

The reaction on Reddit was overwhelmingly positive and, of course, packed with profanities.

“I can’t wait for 2024’s choice word,” commented one Reddit user.

“Excellent evolution of typography here lol,” another noted.

“Your growth in pastry work is quite touching, c---,” someone else playfully wrote, to which Lydon replied, “Thank you, t---. I’m pretty proud of the progress. And grateful to my family for putting up with The Early Years. The first few pies were rough looking.”

Many others suggested bleepable words for future pies, like “dips---,” “nimrod,” “bollocks” and more.

“How about tart? A little less spicy but I’m a sucker for puns,” commented another Redditor, trying out a little double entendre.

Lydon tells that the tradition began in 2012 as a prank she orchestrated with her immediate family. Her grandmother died a few years later, but the tradition lives on.

“When this all started, it was mom, dad, brother, grandma and everybody sitting down at the same table and eating. I was like, ‘Let’s see if we can make Grammy giggle,’” Lydon says about the very first pie, which read “F--- Off.”

“She was a sweet little Japanese lady,” Lydon explains, recalling that after they placed the pie in front of her, “she didn’t want to say anything, but she was like, ‘Oh my, well, I can see that you’ve tried really hard. And you put a lot of effort into it,’” which Lydon felt was “kind of a double-edged compliment.”

Lydon says she wishes her grandmother was able to see the progress she’s made with her profane pies, but she’s glad the rest of her family is able to bond over them.

“At this point, everyone’s kind of spread to different ends of the country and this is just one of those reminders that kind of brings everybody back together in spirit, at least,” she says.

Lydon says, as a big fan of vulgar vocabulary, she’s thrilled that her pies have been such a hit on Reddit.

“It’s fun seeing people so enthusiastic about it,” Lydon says, adding that some commenters said they were considering making this a tradition in their own families. “If we can make a few more people laugh because of rude words looking pretty, then I’m all for it.”